Amazon is one step ahead of the competition once again. Computers put out of business; the newspapers, the toll booth operators and countless others jobs. Now we can finally put out the mailman to the pastures. Amazon wants drones to make deliveries. Drone deliveries are the way of the future. Of course you know there will be glitches when a new form of technology starts. Do I have to tip? No wonder my affiliate program is dwindling with Amazon, they are siphoning my funds to build a robotic revolution.
It dawned on me a few days ago while I got lost at IKEA, I think I found the perfect place to exercise this winter. There I was circling around and around trying to get out of there the shortest way possible. I felt like Daedalus lost in a labyrinth. The more I rushed to get out of IKEA, I felt like a trapped mouse in a maze. If I walk around that place sheltered from the elements and once in awhile rest on the beds. I could easily time all of this and get a good workout in two hours. In the end I could treat myself to a ice-cream when I leave the premises. I think I am onto something good. Just do not tell anybody.
Bring some string. You never know. Flying out of there is not an option.
“But the truth is that Black Friday owes its name to the Philadelphia Police Department, which did not have profitability in mind. One thing to remember is that, long before the rest of us started calling it Black Friday, retailers hoped to start the holiday shopping season with a bang by offering “can’t miss” deals right after Thanksgiving. (Note: These days, “holiday shopping season” can begin way before Turkey Day.) People being people, they have long stormed stores, caused traffic jams and been generally terrible to one another in an effort not to miss these deals.
So at some point in the 1950s or 1960s — some put the date exactly at 1966 — the Philadelphia Police Department started to refer to the day after Thanksgiving as “Black Friday,” with the unrealistic hope that people would find the whole shebang distasteful and opt out of the collective consumer madness. At a minimum, it was a derisive way to describe an unpleasant day in the life of a Philly cop.” (source)
Should bigger clothing sizes cost more?
When I order a hamburger and hold back most toppings, I always pay the same as an all dressed burger. I should pay less for a simple burger. If I happen to wear a size small and other people wear sizes bigger than me, it is assumed you pay the same price for that article of clothing. A bigger person is getting more fabric and pays the same price as the small version. There seems to be a little injustice in that. Same could be said about shoes. The small guy always gets the shaft. It’s too bad it is not like that when you order a pizza. You pay for the size accordingly and how many toppings you add to your pizza. So size does matter for some things in life. (That’s what she said.)
There is an old myth that turkey makes you sleepy. The guests that come to see you for Thanksgiving might be boring you to sleep.
“The oft-repeated turkey myth stems from the fact that turkey contains the amino acid tryptophan, which forms the basis of brain chemicals that make people tired. But turkey isn’t any more sleep-inducing than other foods. In fact, consuming large amounts of carbohydrates and alcohol may be the real cause of a post-Thanksgiving-meal snooze, experts say.
Basically, any big meal containing tryptophan and lots of carbohydrates can trigger sleepiness — not just turkey. And on Thanksgiving, many other factors contribute to feelings of tiredness, such as drinking alcohol. The holidays are also a time when people often take a break from their hard work.” (source)
I was told that kids today are tech savvy. I think it’s just the opposite! If you consider sexting or texting as tech savvy, boy are we in trouble. I worry for our future. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram has made us dumber. Today Facebook went down for a billion lost souls, they were not able to post their mundane endless rants. Thank god! Facebook is a big waste of time. They just collect free content from you. You will never see a dime for your hard work on their site. Facebook is just a harvester of pictures and teen angst. I wonder how people would react if Sylvia Plath were on Facebook?
On Sundays I see the older generations at the Apple Store trying to learn how to use an iPad at the free seminars given to encourage them to enter the information age. I think they will put the technology to a better use then their grandchildren. Their granddaughters are too busy posting their cleavage for dirty old men who have a better understanding of the Internet. The Internet was godsend for all the perverts who hide behind pseudonyms.
Facebook has made make-believe friendship seem like reality. Kids do not know how to create realistic relationships. Facebook has destroyed marriages. Shareholders make money off the misery of people who ape each other on Facebook. How many times have you been at an Apple Store and the screen left on is most likely on Facebook. Some of them too lazy to log off from their accounts. Are we part of some collective that needs to be on Facebook at all time?
The common thread that runs through Facebook is envy. Endlessly everybody is trying to outdo each other with either staged or Photoshopped images of themselves. Amplified self glory that has no bounds. Mark Zuckerberg on the other hand is tech savvy. Randi Zuckerberg wrote a kids’ book about a tech savvy girl and hazards of wasting too much time on the Internet. You guessed it, Randi is Mark’s sister. I wonder if Randi is envious of Mark? With the millions they are making, who has time to worry about envy!
The nominees of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame of 2014 are out. My favorite band Deep Purple is up for another nomination. The band that refuses to go away. The iconic group has spawned so much talent that still resonates today. Deep Purple has gone through so many changes because of ego clashes. They are the apex of quality musicians. I am afraid that once again the group is going to shunned out by the likes of Nirvana, KISS, Yes, Link Wray, The Replacements, Cat Stevens, The Zombies and The Paul Butterfield Blues Band. Don’t get me wrong I have a veracious appetite for music and have all of these bands in my collection. Even The Paul Butterfield Blues Band. Deep Purple had a huge ripple effect in the music industry that still echoes today.
Enter any guitar shop and you will hear Smoke on the Water bouncing off the walls. The group still tours and just released a new album. I would love to see all the members throughout the years on one stage. They will have a harder time bringing in Ritchie Blackmore out of his Middle Ages time warp let alone on a stage with this clash of egos. I am disappointed in many ways. We the audience, built these groups and supported them through most of our lives. Some of their music embedded into our own special moments. I wish they would be bigger men and for one magical night, kiss and make-up already. Talking about KISS, there is another group that half of the original members are not talking to each other. I will give you a guess why. Ego! Ego in the music world is another word for money. We gave you guys plenty of cash already. How about giving back to us? One thing is for sure there are plenty of Ians going around this year. From Ian Paice, Ian Gillan, to Ian Anderson.
Montreal is in love with cones. The orange kind. They are littered all over the island. We love our cars too much. That is why our roads are deplorable. Our roads are in constant repair. When I was young I played a game called Moon Patrol. The whole idea was to try to get to base without falling into moon craters while you were fired upon. I feel the same way when I try to get home. There are cops lurking in every corner waiting to ticket me while I try avoid potholes. Potholes in french is literately translated as chicken nest. I always get a egg on my face when I bring my car to the garage. My mechanic has a big mansion thanks to the city workers of Montreal. Do not get me going about city hall. They gave us plenty of egg on our faces for the world to see.
There is another cone I do not particularly like. Those are the ones that fall from trees. We have plenty of those too on the island. Fall is about raking leaves and cones. Halloween is around the corner. Screaming kids and teenagers who refuse to grow up come about with lame costumes or lack of. I feel like Mr. Wilson. I am starting to hate kids this time of the year. Dentists love kids who eat lots of candy. Dentists have mansions next to the mechanics. While on the subject of Mr. Wilson, there is one cone I really like. Ice cream cones. In the summer I frequent my local Dairy Queen for a vanilla cone. I wait in long lineups to get a cone of ice cream. I miss those Dennis Menace ice cream cone art that Dairy Queen used to have. We had less cones back then. The roads were better. Then again I was too busy as a kid playing video games and licking ice cream and I did not have a car.
Teams come and go. I used to love baseball. My team was the Montreal Expos. The logo was so out there. They were special, at times they were a motley crew of misfits from other teams. When I was young, baseball was best listened to on the radio. Now with HD quality TV it has changed the complexity of the game. There is nothing like listening to a game on the radio on a summer day. Come the end of August you always got a fair idea to where your team team was going. Were they playoff bound or not? This is where bandwagon fans started to drop off depending on how far behind the team was. Baseball is a sport of statistics. I was not into that. I was into personalities. In the old days there were plenty of characters. The Expos found a way to net many from a sea of outcasts. For budget reasons they picked them up. We made them our heroes. Today baseball players are unapproachable. Players back then could walk our fair streets without being bothered. We felt they were one of us. They were Nos Amours.
As many of you know we lost our team. I will not get into the politics of it all. I bled for that team. I always made a point to keep score on what they were doing. There is no more need to do so. The remnants of that team is now in Washington. The old players mean nothing to that city. 35 years of history jettisoned into limbo. There are many who still have a place for that team in our collective field of dreams in Montreal. Our field of dreams was a spade or two away from being built. We found out later that was all a farce. Money talks and teams walk. The economics were all wrong for the Expos.
There are silent murmurs of bringing back the Expos. I would be there in a heartbeat. The Expos are like an old friend who you reacquaint with after many years, you slowly realize that it is not the same. That passion you once shared seems not to be there. Maybe a group of new faces can pull this off and bring back a sport that lingered in a city for a century that once brought Jackie Robinson to the big leagues. There is history with the Montreal Royals and Expos teams that played in Montreal. Montreal changed baseball in many ways. We were the springboard for baseball’s shame. Baseball was always an emigrant sport in Montreal. It did not have Canadian roots. We have the Montreal Alouettes and the Montreal Canadiens. It was the sport that just did not fit. Some players tried to fit into our complex culture and others were indifferent. It was a supportive city when they were champions, but sore ones when they stunk up the Olympic Stadium.
I get upset when I see countless Expos related merchandising being sold today. Nostalgic for some, others it is a fashion statement. The more I look at the logo, the more a realize that the guy who designed it had to be Nostradamus. He knew that we were going to get screwed. The logo looks like a penis with two balls. Major League Baseball sells Expos merchandise to Montreal sport stores each year and I feel that they are in a way still screwing me. You took the Expos from us. Take it, but don’t sell your shit to me again. If you want to sell t-shirts bring back my team. Do it right this time. I will not buy Boston Braves, Milwaukee Braves, Brooklyn Dodgers, New York Giants, Kansas City Athletics, Philadelphia Athletics, St. Louis Browns, Seattle Pilots and Washington Senators merchandise. There is one thing those cities have in common that we don’t. They all still have baseball teams.
Major League Baseball was at least generous, they made their last trade from the Expos to our city (sarcasm). They sold Youppi! to the Montreal Canadians for a cool million. I think Tommy Lasorda was behind that one. What would a guy like that know about Montreal? Did he ever play in Montreal? Maybe if he played for about ten years in Canada he would not throw Youppi! out of a baseball game. That guy had no sense of humor (once again, sarcasm). Baseball started in Montreal in 1897 and I think we should get back into the field. There have been too many screw jobs in Montreal already. Oops, I think that’s another sport. Well to be fair that sport is no longer called a sport, it was also thrown out of the Olympics. I guess I feel for those guys too.
My name is Tony Medeiros. I fancy myself a citizen of the galaxy. I feel like a sea turtle that claws each day to reach the vast ocean of uncertainty. Each sunrise is a new day of learning. New foes and challenges await me. Predators ready to feast on my gullibility. I am a quick learner and plan to make it to the sea. So world, you have picked and thrown everything at me for 48 years and still I stand. My journey is half there.